Love.

20 Sep

I am obsessed with all things baby.  I love talking with other moms about pregnancy details and birth stories, sharing pictures and discussing the ins and outs of life with children.  And, I think I have finally figured out why I love it all so much.  Pregnancy, birth, babies, children…watching it all progress is like watching the greatest love story unfold.  The anticipation and excitement I have for pregnant mothers is not about me meeting their baby, but about them meeting the little loves of their lives.  There is nothing more exciting!

I worked one day this weekend.  I had my usual 4 baby assignment…it makes for an extremely busy day.  I ran behind, got pooped on, and didn’t get a lunch break until 9 hours into my shift.  I was tired, emotional, and hypoglycemic {a very bad combination for congeniality}.

One of my foursome was a baby boy, born just that morning, and brought to the unit because his mother had surrendered him.  He was the result of an unintended pregnancy and the current state of the economy had left his mother feeling incapable of providing for him.  I wavered between thoughts of “how could she?” and “how thoughtful”, but I couldn’t shake the overwhelming sad emotions I felt for the biological mother that I never met and her son whom I was caring for.  At the time I received morning report, no adoptive arrangements were in place.  The little guy was wrapped in a hospital blanket and wore only a diaper and a name-band inscribed with his mother’s surname.

I nestled into a chair with that little guy as soon as I had a chance.  I wondered if my heartbeat reminded him of her or if he missed the voice that he knew and loved in-utero.  As I held him two special people who had been waiting over a decade, were looking internationally, and later said they though they “would never be picked” were receiving the phone call that would change their lives forever.

I resigned from my first NICU job several years ago after witnessing a few too many parents say goodbye to their little loves.  I have attended plenty of joyful deliveries {including my own}, but none left me with such intense feelings of happiness as seeing this couple sheepishly round the corner of the unit and lay eyes on their son for the first time.  Smiles and tears were numerous.   It was a moment that I hope to never forget and one I am so thankful to have experienced.  I have never had such a wonderful day at work…only few non-working days of my life have even compared.

As I made my way home to my family that night I reflected on my thoughts of his birth mother.  She had given the greatest gifts…the gift of life and the gift of love.

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6 Responses to “Love.”

  1. Lee Anne Stone September 21, 2010 at 7:16 am #

    Oh Annie! I loved this post so much. You are such an amazingly strong woman and I am blessed to know you. You make me want to be a better mom every day! 🙂 Love you and miss you.

    • rn2mommy September 21, 2010 at 1:33 pm #

      No Lee Anne, YOU are strong!

      I kept thinking about your recent post “if you have to cry, go outside” all day as I walked around with tear-filled eyes.

  2. Theresa Salas September 21, 2010 at 8:54 am #

    Thank you so much for sharing this! it was an amazing story. I feel a little more blessed this morning myself!

    • rn2mommy September 21, 2010 at 1:34 pm #

      Thanks for reading, Theresa!

  3. Bethany September 21, 2010 at 1:39 pm #

    OMG Annie! This made tears come to my eyes…..It’s so bitter sweet…..but what an amazing experience for you! Thank you so much for sharing!

    • rn2mommy September 21, 2010 at 5:50 pm #

      It was such a special thing to experience. I think the girl who facilitated the adoption may have the best job ever! Could you imagine getting to make that phone call?…”hi, we have a baby for you!”

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